My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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