Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
