my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.