Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(319): View more from Iowa

Sponge bath it is.

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(712): View more from Iowa

I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed

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(225): View more from Louisiana

ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(305): View more from Florida

He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.

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(974): View more from

You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

it's 1 pm.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?

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