Sponge bath it is.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?