The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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