yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
