New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
and she was petting her beer can
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
