If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
