I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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