yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm having to shit out rocks
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
