Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We are all done wearing pants today
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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