why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
