Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
