she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
