Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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