Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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