Buhtt sex?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
