He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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