The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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