is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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