I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
