Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
