This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
