in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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