what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
