My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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