if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize