he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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