The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
