Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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