I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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