Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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