I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize