the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
