i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
