She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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