(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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