i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
