It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
