listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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