peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
