Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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