Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
my penis made a compromise with my morals
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
