My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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