just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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