You're so nebulous sometimes
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
