She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
