So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
