hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
