I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
