Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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