Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize