Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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