Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
organizing the empties. That sober.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
