I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
