is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
