We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
