Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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