I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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