i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
