trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
