He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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