no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
