Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
How naked do you want me to be?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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