At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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