ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
