If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
