Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
